I’m afraid I don’t have good news. At 3:40 this morning I used my wee stick and the result came in as a big, fat, negative. After which I snuggled back into bed feeling disappointed and sorry for myself.
Peanut woke early, came into bed with us and we had an hour or so all together. When we finally woke up for the day she was adorable: kisses and cuddles, and in a great mood. It only served to reinforce what I wanted again. I wanted another Peanut. I wanted there to be 4 of us scrambling around the bed, one big happy family. But today that wasn’t to be; that dream will have to keep for a while.
I was very melancholy all morning and was dumbstruck by husband’s lack of sympathy to how I was feeling. He thought I was over-reacting, that I shouldn’t have built my hopes up in the first place. That may be so, but they were already built.
Anyway, by lunch I realised I couldn’t let it get me down all day and put it to the back of my mind. Good job really because shortly after I came to realise there are people having a much rougher day than I am.
Husband’s brother moved out of the home he shares with his long-term girlfriend this afternoon [he’s 38 and is having to stay with his mum]. It’s possibly temporary but nobody really knows right now, apparently they’ve been fighting for a while. I hope they work it out as I don’t want him to have to start over, but I also acknowledge it may be the best thing for him in the long run.
Then, there’s my family thinking my Nan has the early stages of dementia and not knowing what to do about it. And finally, a cousin of my husband is having her new baby tested for Spina Bifida. In light of all this I think the fact my instant conception didn’t happen quite like I hoped is ok, for now.
One good thing to share, our cat seems to be ok. She came off her medication last Monday and so far so good; no significant wobbles at least. She seems to have lived to fight another day. I’m sure, in I don’t know how many days, she’ll relapse but for now she has her 9th life in tact.
Saturday 19 January 2008
Life is a rollercoaster
2 comments:
Sorry the news wasn't what you were hoping for. I am very familiar with staring at the little stick hoping for a blue line... This is only your first go-round, though, so try not to let it get you down. I firmly believe that a positive outlook aids in conception! Good luck!
Oh, and glad to hear your kitty is doing better!
Thanks. Silly really to get my hopes up, but you just can't help wanting the future you've planned in your head to start today. Zero patience on my part I know! Better luck next month maybe : )
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