Virgin Meme

I got my first meme tag! [Thanks Huckdoll!]. After 45 days and 48 posts I now feel like a proper blogger in a world of proper bloggers.

Unfortunately for Huckdoll, her meme is about reading. Something I rarely do, well not fiction anyway [far too bloody practical for that]. It’s either magazines or non-fiction ‘how to’ books beside my bed!

Anyway, here are the instructions for my ‘Page 123’ meme:

1. pick up the nearest book [of at least 123 pages].
2. open the book to page 123.
3. find the fifth sentence.
4. post the next three sentences.
5. tag five people and then post a comment here once you post it to your blog, so I can come and see.

Here goes…

My book is ‘Honey We’re Killing The Kids: The Ten Rules For Healthy And Happy Children’ by Kristina Murrin. Page 123 is within the ‘Discipline and Boundaries’ chapter.

If you can’t say no to yourself as an adult, your life will be driven by whim and impulse and you will find it difficult to delay gratification; falling victim to the ‘I want it now’ syndrome.

Although no is a negative word, it can be used to teach your child positive lessons. It’s a powerful word, however, so it’s important to learn how to use it properly.

I tag the following five lovely people, who I’m sure read more interesting books than I do!

Bliss in Bloom
Clever Girl Goes Blog
Latte Mommy
Life of a Valley Girl
Life with Lance

You can lead a horse to water

but you can’t make it drink. Or maybe that should read: you can lead a nine year old to the dinner table but you can’t make it eat.

We went to dinner this evening at mother in laws place, with sister in law, her husband and her three kids [nine year old, and two year old twins – all boys!].

Complete chaos and extremely noisy but nothing new there. It depends what mood we’re in as to whether we can handle it, or whether it drives us crazy. Tonight was fairly reasonable, we managed to stick it out for nearly 3 hours which is good going.

Anyway, I digress. The nine year old is a reeeeaaaaaalllllly fussy eater. I’ve known him since he was nearly 2 and he pretty much always has been. He was an only child until he was 7 so maybe he was allowed to get away with it for too long. Plus, when the twins came along I think it just became important for him to eat, no matter what it was.

He seems to only eat pizza, tinned pasta and ham or chocolate spread sandwiches. I’m sure he has a greater repertoire than just these but it’s all I seem to witness.

As a family we’re all trying to say that if he wants to be good at sport [which he does] he needs food for energy. This hopefully changes it from nagging to something he needs for himself. He agrees in principle but then can’t quite bring himself to follow through.

Having witnessed his behaviour, and the shouting/crying it generates, we’ve always insisted Peanut eats what we’re eating. If we’re all eating at the same time, and especially when we’re somewhere else, Peanut has what we have. I’ve never fussed over and given her something different. And even so I still think she’s a bit fussy; or perhaps manipulative so she can eat rubbish!

Maybe he needs to realise that dinner is his only choice? That if he doesn’t eat his dinner he actually will be hungry. But there’s the dilemma: do you want him to eat ‘something’ now or do you want him to eat ‘good’ always?

Just before we headed home he was eating pitta bread, just so that he ate ‘something’.

Kids!

Wicked mother

For a while there I thought Peanut had reverted back to sleeping through to her routine wake up time of 6:45. I happily assumed all our early rising issues had sorted themselves out. Oh no. Yesterday she made a grand entrance at 6 and this morning, earlier still at 5:40.

Nothing wrong with that, in the sense that if she wants to start her day with the birds then who am I to tell her different. Except that's not how it works.

Last night she was exhausted, slept badly and this morning was a royal pain in the bum [moody, cheeky, whiney, miserable, ignoring everything I asked her to do]. I know she's only behaving like this because she's tired [and being day 4 of our working week we probably both are]. I also know, as the grown up, I should know better than to get snappy at her in return.

Unfortunately not. She was driving me crazy because I knew her mood was self inflicted. I knew if she'd stayed in bed for another hour, neither of us would be going through this crabby start to our day. My own frustration and stress at getting us out of the house on time meant I started to bark orders at her. To get dressed, and chastising her for anything else she did which was out of line. Which then left me drowning in working mum guilt:

If I didn't work and put her in nursery for 10 hours each day she wouldn't be so tired in the first place. [And if she wasn't so damn tired maybe she would sleep better, and the circle goes round].

If I didn't work I wouldn't have to berate her to get dressed as we wouldn't be under such pressure to leave the house.

If I didn't work I wouldn't being trying to get myself ready quite as much and would be able to focus on what she needed.

If I didn't work none of this morning's crabbiness would have happened.

Does this make me a wicked mother, or does this make both of us victims of modern day circumstance?

Teacher, teacher, am I pregnant?

Well, my visit to the school went reasonably well yesterday. I didn’t embarrass myself and I tried my best to appear respectable and ask sensible questions. I wish husband had been there though as the only people on the tour with me were a very upright, church-going, married couple. It’s a church school so I was feeling a little exposed, looking like a single mother at this point. I kept trying to make sure my ring finger was blinking away at them all!

Nothing more can be done now so we just have to wait and see. Apparently they have 4 applications for each spot so competition is tough. And, I’m sure, made even tougher by the fact that the school just got a Grade 1 in its Ofsted Report: ‘outstanding; exceptionally and consistently high’.

And then there’s bubba watch, or my phantom pregnancy, whichever it may be! Still no sign of Aunt Flo so I have my wee stick ready for tomorrow morning.

Tomorrow is day 35 so it could still be considered too early to test. However I found out I was pregnant with Peanut on exactly the same day so I know it’s possible. If negative tomorrow and still no visit from Aunt Flo by day 40, I still think I would test again. After that, who knows what I should do – maybe my cycle has stopped altogether and I have zero chance of conceiving! But let’s not go there.

Right now, I’m 50% hopeful and 50% thinking it’s all in my head. Soon it’ll be time to go to sleep and hopefully I’ll dream sweetly until I wake tomorrow morning…

Waiting for my school report

First thing tomorrow I'm going on an official visit to Peanut's prospective primary school. She's due to start next January and the headmaster apparently doesn't like any pupil starting whose parents haven't made a prior visit. And yes, this is a state school!

There's no guarantee Peanut will even be accepted as they're over-subscribed and just got the most glowing report from Ofsted. It will come down to numbers, whether you fit into the catchment [yes, but catchment b] and if there are siblings already attending [obviously no].

I was a bit cheeky [read: risky] but on the advice of my in-laws I only put this one school on my application. It's at the top of our road so I will not be amused should she not get in! D-day is April 1st, when I'll receive an email from the local authority advising us of her fate.

I feel like I'm the one that's being inspected tomorrow when it should be the other way around! I'll let you know tomorrow whether I escape unscathed.

p.s. today is day 32 of baby watch and still no sign of negative confirmation. I could of course have the longest natural cycle known to man, or my body could simply be settling into a rhythm after years of preventative drugs. If there's still no sign by Saturday [day 35] I think I'll take a test.

Big Girl Rules

Peanut is a few months off turning 4 so she's slowly coming to terms with who's in charge; however about six months ago things were quite different.

She had reached an age back then when she thought she knew everything, and as a result obviously thought she could rule the roost.

Being our first child we've been quite soft on her and had shot ourselves in the foot in a few areas, particularly going to bed, but you live and learn!

Husband and I had reached the end of our tether with her whining and cheekiness so I devised my own set of house rules.

On the whole they've worked a treat. To the point where Mummy and Daddy are put on Time Out if there's something we really really want to watch on TV during dinner [usually a critical game of football]. A hilarious full circle consequence of her new found self-discipline. And yes, we do our time and then apologise!

If you think it's worth a try in your house, please send me an email and I'll send the Big Girl/Boy Rules to you as a pdf.

On her 9th life?

Last week our cat suddenly, out of the blue, couldn't walk straight and kept falling over; much like a drunken tramp.

A visit to the ‘animal doctor’ concluded it could either be an inner ear infection [which would clear up within 24 hours] or a brain tumour/seizure etc [which wouldn’t].

Unfortunately, it didn't clear up the next day. We were still pleasantly surprised by her recovery however; after a couple of days our hope returned and we thought she'd got it licked.

We were wrong. On Saturday night she came over all wobbly again. She seemed reasonable yesterday but I know all logic points to it not being a positive outcome.

She usually annoys me [can't bear the sound of licking] but this past week hasn’t been very nice. I feel terrible for her, she's not in any pain but it's still horrid to watch someone's demise. I also know that all the love and care I’m giving her now is too little too late.

And to top everything, Peanut adores her so I have no idea how to cross that bridge. Cue one very upset little girl. Suggestions on a postcard please.

[Does anyone think this is perhaps why Peanut is having issues right now? It crossed my mind earlier].

A bunch of 9 year olds and a packet of crisps

It’s our nephew’s 9th birthday today and we spent the afternoon at his ten pin bowling party. The partying adults played in their own lane however I still managed to come second to last, only my 60-year-old aunt-in-law got a lower score then I did and she hasn’t bowled for 20 years! I resisted putting up the sidebars for fear of being humiliated further but I think I’ll stick to the Wii in future.

Fall Over
Funniest part of the afternoon was seeing my mother-in-law chase her grandson/our 2-year-old nephew down the bowling lane, falling flat on her backside when she ran beyond the line of no return. I know you shouldn’t laugh at other people’s misfortune but it was funny.

Grumpy Mummy
Late in the afternoon I got the grumps temporarily when I spotted Peanut eating crisps. I know kids will be kids and she’s not barred from eating them or anything like that, it’s just that it was the second day in a row crappy food was being provided in the hour or so before her dinner [we spent yesterday afternoon with MIL as well].

Last night she didn’t eat her meal so I was damned if it was going to happen twice. MIL said I couldn’t blame the crisps for her not eating dinner yesterday. Which just made me feel like I didn’t know what was best for my own daughter, which in turn made me feel about two years old. I know she didn’t mean any harm, and I do love her to bits really, but sometimes I wonder when I’ll be taken seriously or if my opinions will always be dismissed!

P.S.
Question for any parents/paediatricians reading this…Peanut is currently keeping her number 2’s to herself for fear they will hurt her. The longer she goes the more agitated and distressed she gets but no amount of ignoring the situation, persuasion, bribery, telling off is enough to make her want to go.

When she eventually does go it never hurts as she had anticipated so she’s freaking out about something that doesn’t even come true.

This is the 3rd time this week she’s pulled this trick so any advice would be appreciated. Do you think it’s a coincidence it ties in with me going back to work? A cry for attention perhaps, reminding me she’s still my baby who needs lots of cuddles? A silly theory I’m sure but I’m clutching at straws.

Thank goodness it's Friday...?

I 'work from home' on Fridays, and Peanut stays home too. It save us one day of nursery fees each week; every little helps with resolution number 6!

On an ordinary Friday I stick close to the laptop in the morning in case issues arise and then, as it gets towards mid afternoon, I begin to feel better about heading out of the house [confident I’m not as indispensable as I imagine and it’s safe to venture out without being missed].

Unfortunately Peanut remained under the weather today so we didn’t get out. At all. We didn’t even venture out of the lounge all that much. To say I had cabin fever by the time my husband came home from work just wouldn’t be going far enough!

Peanut was my shadow all day, wanting cuddles and to sit on my knee every five minutes. Which in some ways is gorgeous but in other ways is quite draining as you just don’t get to move or take care of anything else you need to.

Anyway, out of the blue, Peanut made a 300% recovery at about 5pm so I’m not sure if she’s playing me for a fool in retaliation for putting her back in nursery? Let’s see what tomorrow brings…

Emergency call out

Got a call from Peanut's nursery at 3:30 this afternoon asking me to collect her early as she wasn't well: apparently a tummy bug has been going around and it's only day two of term. Yay!

I quickly shut down my computer and headed straight out of the office, thankfully not too crazy busy yet for it to matter. Or at least, not that bothered yet to care.

She fell asleep in the car home and was quite tearful and upset for most of the evening. Big improvement after she'd had some toast and watched Elf for the six-zillionth time though!

Anyhow, Peanut's now asleep and husband is playing Wii Sports so he's happy too. All is good, though I need a cup of tea and a hit of sugar. I wonder if it’s snowing outside…